Yesterday was Thanksgiving Day. It was also the one year anniversary of our friend, Audrius, being taken from our community by ICE. He sits in prison still, his fate uncertain, his loss still felt by a number of United States citizens.
We shared Thanksgiving dinner with friends this year, far from home as I did not want any reminders of that horrid day the year before. As we ate each person shared with the others what we were thankful for through the year. Everyone had a story to tell, small or not so small. When it came to me I gave thanks for the events that had placed me on my present path and all the wonderful people that I have been so fortunate to meet since. I thought momentarily, then added that I was also thankful for the tears. It is far better to cry from pain than to have no room in your heart for others - so yes, I am thankful for even the tears. I am thankful that I do not walk this earth with a heart shut hard against all hurt, against life itself, for the act of living invites a degree of pain.
This reminded our hostess of a story which she then shared with us. I now share it with you as the lesson it containes is great and reaches across all faiths - it speaks to a universal truth too often forgotten. The story was from the book "The Hiding Place" a memoir by Corrie ten Boom. Corrie and her sister Betsie were taken in WWII and put in a concentration camp. They were Christians who had been helping Jews. They found themselves in a dark, horribly crowded barracks. The straw upon which they slept was heavily infested with fleas and soon all those held captive were covered in bites. When the sisters were brought in they were not searched thoroughly and so they were able to bring a Bible with them. They immediately began to pray and to read from the Bible - and to give thanks. Betsie gave thanks for the crowded conditions as it would mean they had more people to share their Bible with and Corrie followed her lead. She gave thanks for the foul barracks and again Corrie followed. Finally Betsy gave thanks for the fleas and Corrie could take no more. She just couldn't give thanks for the fleas. She argued with her sister - how could anyone possibly be thankful for all those fleas!
Through their ordeal they continued to read from the Bible and to share it with others in those barracks. It gave the women great comfort and seemed to bring light into the darkness of their circumstances. If the Bible were discovered they would be taken and disciplined, but fortunately the guards never inspected their barracks and the Bible remained. Only later did they learn the reason they had never had an inspection and their Bible had never been found. It was the fleas. The guards did not want to go in the barracks because of all the fleas.
Difficult times are inevitable for us all, but when we look back we find that our greatest periods of growth do not come from what was easy, but from our difficulties, our pain. My original intention in giving thanks even for the tears was half centered in defiance of the circumstances I've found myself in, defiance against having to confront the worst in men's hearts right here in my own country. After our hostess told her story I realized that I have an even greater reason to be thankful for every one of those tears I've shed this year.
There is an old Roman saying: "Pain is weakness leaving the body." I am not the woman I was a year ago and I am thankful for everything that has brought me to where I am now, even the tears. Whatever your faith, some truths are eternal. This is one I had forgotten. I am thankful for the reminder. Now I am even thankful for ICE, DHS and their agents. The worst of them, the ones who torture and abuse immigrants on a level that can only be derived from a pleasure in the pain that they cause or the ones in charge who turn away from the ruptured families and broken lives left in their wake and trade placating lies for a free pass - even they serve to remind us. No matter how degraded and perverted their actions they remind the rest of us of our own common humanity. In a world filled with temptations to live life strictly for number one they stand as stark examples of what lies ahead if we allow ourselves to deny the humanity of our fellow man or if we take one step on the path of hatred and why we must be ever vigilant against such darkness creeping into our hearts. Even the most sadistic of them sets us a fine example. I grant you - it is of what not to do - but they are setting an important example none-the-less. For that I am thankful.
Oh . . . and I am very thankful for you!
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Beautiful post, Deborah and good timing for me. Today was a horribly painful day as my boyfriend Mike and I electronically filed three motions and one petition in the 9th Circuit Federal appeals court. The DHS mandate to pick Mike up went into effect today.
ReplyDeleteOn days such as this, when we have to file these documents, it's always a bad day. We argue. We have panic attacks. We scream and we pull our hair out. I curse the government for what it does to people and I think about the gun range three exits from me on the freeway.
I really needed to read this right now. Thank you.